So didya see the news? A pastor has issued the 30-DAY SEX CHALLENGE!
Read about it here: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23227651/?GT1=10856
Or check out the website, assuming you can get it to load: http://30daysexchallenge.com/
Given the public face of The Church lately, I consider this a breath of fresh air. What a great idea - let’s stop demonizing everyone that isn’t us, turn our focus inward, and love up our partners a bit. Seems so simple, but how often do we devote even 20 minutes a day to pay rapt attention to our partners? What radical changes in our primary relationships could come about if we prioritized fully enjoying ourselves with our partners on a daily basis?
So how does this risque topic belong in the nascent blog of a respectable massage therapist? You’re perhaps aware that I’m offering couples massage classes. I really thought when I initially developed the first class, Back Massage for Couples, that I’d be teaching technique, giving folks a better education about their anatomy. I really wanted to draw a strong line between the science aspect of massage and the interaction between partners in a class.
Ha.
I got schooled in the first class I taught, and then again and again. I’ve realized that though some couples come to the class wanting massage technique, once they begin to work on each other, they discover something else entirely. Unexpectedly, the giver is fascinated by the luscious curve of a hip, the punctuated arc of the spine on a body he thought he knew… On the table, in the meantime, his partner is reveling in speaking what she needs, being heard, and receiving in a physical manner what she’s asked for - less pressure here, maybe more work on that tight shoulder, and not least, the devoted attention of her sweetheart.
I love this. It absolutely inspires me. It cracks me up to discover the strictures of my own thinking and massage training. I’m still finding the words for this class, for this intimate, so important space we’ve collectively discovered between the utility of holding hands and the rushed, too often soulless sex that’s “better than nothing” after a busy day. As a massage therapist who sees so many touch-starved humans, I really hear the need for good touch from one’s partner, regardless of the context.
So here’s my addendum to the 30 Day Sex Challenge…. For all those of you who’ve already taken the class, spend 20 minutes a day for 30 days rubbing each other up. Split up the time, claim it for yourself, gift it to your partner, whatever. Let us know how it affects your relationship by posting a comment below. (Keep it clean, I’m respectable yet.)
As for the rest of you - the pastor’s challenge still stands! Enjoy! And take my class!
PS. Pastor Wirth - all those not-yet-married congregants? Send them to Portland. Let’s chat about the ability of good touch to refocus a relationship.
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